Tulfo, Rape and Victim-blaming

I've written about this issue before. More recently, however, Lucban PNP and Ben Tulfo came under fire for telling women not to wear sexy attire when going out. Frankie Pangilinan have fired back against Tulfo saying tone obvious thing and strawmaning Tulfo in two others. Let's get something straight.

"The way any person dresses should not be deemed as ‘opportunity’ to sexually assault them. ever."

100% true. Thing is, no one said nor was it ever implied that if someone dressed in a sexy attire, they deserved to be raped. You can advise one thing and still hold that the other is true. When rape is the issue on hand, it becomes more emotionally charged. So if you don't mind, dear reader, I will change up the scenario a little bit.

Consider that you're going downtown to make some purchases. It's common knowledge that downtown, there exist a lot of pickpockets. As a preventive measure, I bring only the cash that I'll be needing. I dress simply as not to draw anyone's attention. I don't even wear my cheap metal watch as it looks shiny and could attract a thief's attention. Whenever I do this, I'm do it for my protection.

Consider then a second scenario where I go to the same area wearing a Rolex (I don't have a Rolex), really nice shoes and look very formal. Add in some shades to add to the douchey-ness. I carry a lot of things and even pull out the latest iPhone XX or whatever. I then become a prime target for any pickpockets in the area. They might not harass me but they might take my bag or my phone.

In the second scenario, it's actually a good thing that people would tell to avoid wearing things that might attract bad people's eyes. Are they saying in any way, shape or form that stealing is wrong and that I'm to blame? No. But there are things, in our control that we can do to avoid crimes from happening to us.

The Lucban PNP's advisory isn't very well worded, I admit. But the point stands. Advising people to dress appropriately, is not victim-blaming. Victim blaming is victim blaming.

Ben Tulfo brings up the very good point that a rapist's or sex offender's desire to commit a crime will always be there. The point is, there are bad people around us and we simply don't know which one's are rapists or sex offenders. That's the scary part. Pangilinan says, "Stop teaching girls how to dress?? Teach people not to rape."

I share in her sentiment. I do. If only it were that easy. But like I said, bad people are all around us and we simply have no idea which ones are capable of rape or sexual misconduct.

Ben Tulfo isn't saying that women only get assaulted if they dress sexily. He's not even saying that the rapist is justified. He even calls him, "the beast". We can definitely say that the rapist is wrong all the time. But when online feminists push this narrative that they shouldn't take responsibility for their own safety, they're hurting the very people they want to protect. Saying that women should be more careful and that rape/sexual assault is wrong are not mutually exclusive. We can do both. And we should to do both.