Coffee and Transgender people

One of the more hot topics recently involves the question of whether transgender men and women should be allowed to participate in events specific to a certain gender. The question was sparked more recently by Ms. Spain of the Ms. Universe pageant, who was born male and now identifies as a woman (transgendered women). It was then fueled by posts of transgendered women who compete in women's sporting events and completely dominate in their sport, with one report of a female MMA fighter who suffered a broken skull from a transgendered female MMA fighter.

The recurring theme of these posts is, "Where do we draw the line?" I get the point made by some of my friends when they say that in the Ms. Universe pageant, being biologically female isn't as important as what is important for a pageant winner is her voice in representing certain humanitarian causes. However, the line still needs to be drawn somewhere. There have already been athletes, born male, but compete in women's sports and dominate. There's also been in the UK, a man who was convicted of rape but since he identifies as a woman, was placed in a women's facility where to absolutely no one's surprise, this person raped a bunch of the inmates.

This story is truly disgusting:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/10/11/transgender-prisoner-born-male-sexually-assaulted-female-inmates/

Now, I'm not saying that all transgendered men and women are like this. They are NOT. Many, I believe, are good people with good hearts. But it's practically unchallenged that a line must be drawn somewhere. Some draw the line at sports and crime sentencing, which I find very arbitrary. It's not based on anything really except feelings, which are arbitrary. I understand that the goal of inclusion and acceptance is a noble one - no doubt about that. But we must remember why is it that we think it's a good thing to include and accept these people as their chosen gender?

At the very bottom of the issue is one I think everyone agrees on. We care for the well being of these people and want the best for them. If they truly believe that they are the gender they say they are, wouldn't the most loving option for anyone be acceptance and acknowledgement? Some people would answer in the affirmative. I say "No."

In no other case of where a person believes something false about their body is the treatment to reinforce and acknowledge the false belief. There are women who believe that they are too fat and so vomit out anything they eat or choose to not eat at all. In this case, we do not reinforce their false belief. There are people who truly believe they are disabled when nothing is wrong with them (BIID). In this case, we do not reinforce their false belief. In fact, in all these cases, the most loving action one could take to make these people realize that their false beliefs are in fact false. Why do we make an exemption for transgendered men and women? If you ask me, I would simply draw the line at biology.

Now, people who think my beliefs are false, gladly point out what they think my false beliefs are. In this case, I know I'm not perfect and I may indeed hold false beliefs. But let's not confuse this with hate. Think I'm wrong? Talk to me about it. Truth be told, I can't write down all my ideas so I'm looking forward to listening to someone. I'm all ears. If you disagree with me, let's have coffee.

Miss Representing Women

Recently, Miss Philippines won the title of Miss Universe and as expected, the whole country is excited. I personally missed the announcements of Top 20, Top 10, Top 5 and the Q&A portion but I know enough to know that Miss Philippines won the title. What these ladies go through to prepare for the competition is something a man can't fully understand. Or that was the case until quite recently.

Miss Spain, I've come to know, was born male and then "transitioned" to being a woman. I put the quotes on "transitioned" as I think no one can truly transition. Now, Angela Ponce (Miss Spain), has received a lot of criticism and though I may agree with a lot of them, maybe it's time we reevaluate how we approach this issue.

Angela Ponce is an individual and must be treated as such. He believes he was born into the wrong body and is a woman. Fine. A lot of people in the LGBT community will say that he shouldn't get hate for being who he really is and we should all acknowledge that he's a woman and if we don't, that's offensive or hateful.

This is quite problematic. The idea here is that people hate this person for saying he's a woman. When I look at the concerns of some people I know though, they couldn't care less what he thinks. What people care about more is, "Are we really feeding this delusion?" Yes, it's a delusion. I am a 29-year old Filipino man who's 5'8" cm tall. Every part of that sentence tells you something about myself that I cannot change - or what we call immutable characteristics. If one day I announce to my family that I'm a 16-year old Korean girl who's 4'11", the most loving thing that my friends and family could ever do is to snap me out of my delusion. Far from being hurtful, reinforcing the truth back to me would be one of the most loving things those closest to me could ever do. The thing about every single part of the description I gave is that it's all backed by something scientific.

I know I'm 29 years old because I was born in 1989. I know I'm Filipino because I was born to Filipino parents. I know I'm a man because I have a penis and every single cell in my body have XY chromosomes. I know I'm 5'8" because I was born after the meter stick was invented. It really is just that simple.

At the end of the day, Angela Ponce is a man in a dress and sorry to say this but he is misrepresenting women.

Text out of Context

I realized lately that I'm one who is easily triggered. I see something online that I disagree with and automatically click on the comment box and start typing out a response. I've stopped actually responding to posts as I've seen it as a waste of time. So now, I usually just ask them out to coffee (see Coffee and Abortion) or write down my thoughts here and then link them to this blog.

A common theme I see in memes are taking the text out of context. Back when I would respond to online atheists who cite Biblical verses, I always tell them that they have to consider the context and I proceed to explain to them the context but this always falls on deaf ears. Some of them would just say, "Here comes the 'context' excuse."

I laugh about it now since I know better but context is never an excuse. Context is what makes the text more meaningful. I assure you, any Bible verse, opinion article, or line from any politician's speech, taken out of context can be spun to say anything you want it to say. Let me give you a demonstration.

St. Ignatius of Loyola made this prayer which says, "Teach me to give and no to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and ask not for reward..."

Right now, no one takes this out of context but with the right spin, we can change it to make it as if St. Ignatius was telling slaves to remain slaves. I mean, "to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and ask not for reward..." sounds a lot like slavery to me!

And this is super easy to do. If you're listening to a speak, one just needs to be triggered for a split second to catch whatever was said and throw away the rest of what was heard. This happens a lot to the pope, and to the Bible. I can do it again as an example!

Psalm 14:1 says "There is no God." So Christians, it's game over! It's right there in the text!

Here's one which triggered me quite a while back and I just had to respond:

These ones are easily answered. For Psalm 14:1, the context lies in the exact same verse. And the meme above is brought to us by not reading the Bible at all and considering memes like this as truth. As much as I'd like to point to you, dear reader, where the answer lies, I think it best to leave it to you to crack open that Bible and verify your facts.

Here's another one of my favorite "out of context" texts from the Bible. Think about it and understand the context. Try to read the verses surrounding the text and see if you can find the context in which this was written. (Disclaimer: the views expressed after this disclaimer are not views I hold)

Exodus 21:20-21 says,

"Whoever strikes his male or female servant with a staff, and if they have died by his hand, he shall be guilty of a crime. But if he survives for one day or two, he shall not be subject to punishment, because it is his money."

Here is a clear indication in the Bible that slavery should be allowed and that they are worth less than people since it says slaves can be beaten up just as long as they don't die.

Think about it. Take all the time you need.

10 Rules of Coffee and Abortion

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that coffee and abortion discussions should be a common occurrence for friends and family to discuss certain topics without the help of the internet. As such, I've decided to make a simple guide on how to make coffee and abortion discussions the most productive. Here are my 10 rules for Coffee and Abortion.

Rule No. 1    The goal is NOT to convince people.

The goal of Coffee and Abortion is to open our worldview and see certain issues from all possible perspectives. If you're born Christian and have been your whole life, talking to someone of a different faith may give you a more holistic worldview.

Rule No. 2    Listen with your eyes, ears and face

Coffee and Abortion discussions are a response to online discussions where lack the face to face interaction. Listen to the other person's words and see with your eyes their facial expressions. These facial ques are lost in the comment threads. A certain issue may affect someone in your group on a highly personal level so be sensitive to those things.

Rule No. 3    Don't raise your voice

If you've said something once, saying again in a higher volume won't make much of a difference. You may, however, repeat a point to stress it more.

Rule No. 4    Prepare palette cleansers

If you're talking about abortion for 2 hours, you might want to talk about other things during a break. Games can help with this as well.

Rule No. 5    Give other people their time to talk and respect it

If the goal of Coffee and Abortion is to have a different perspective, you actually get less out of the experience if you're monologue the whole time. If you wish to monologue, I suggest you become a priest or a pastor. Those guys can talk for days!

Rule No. 6    Criticize the idea, NOT the person

Ad hominem attacks are sometimes easy to dole out when you've run out of your own arguments. Coffee and Abortion doesn't conclude with a "And the winner of this debate is ..." Focus on the arguments presented and pick them apart. Dissect them for all their worth.

Rule No. 7    Coffee NOT Alcohol

Though coffee is not an essential part of the discussion, the discussion may go off on several off tangent points if alcohol is involved. Alcohol has the effect of having the drinker break all the other rules in this list so I'd advice against it. If alcohol is involved, however, set a maximum number of drinks per person.

Rule No. 8    Set a time to end the discussion and stick to it

This rule helps keep the first rule that people tend to forget. If you have a boundless discussion, you might end up with people trying to convince other people how wrong they are and again, that is not the goal of this discussion.

Rule No. 9    Avoid off tangent topics

If the issue being discussed is abortion, talking about women's rights may lead to talking about divorce. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. If you wish to talk about divorce, schedule it during your next Coffee and Abortion discussion

Rule No. 10   End with a smile since you've just learned something new

Congrats! You've just broadened your worldview and may have broadened someone else's. The goal has been achieved and while there are no winners, you gained something. Smile, laugh, thank everyone for their contribution and probably schedule the next one.

I hope more and more people will try out some Coffee and Abortion discussions. I believe this is sorely lacking in our society now and hopefully, it'll take off.

Mixing Sports and Politics

The UP Fighting Maroons aren't best known for their men's basketball team. This year, however, they not only managed to get to final four of the UAAP but they managed a spot in the finals. As expected, the UP community is just exploding with excitement especially prior to game 1 of the finals.

This is UP's first finals appearance in 32 years. ADMU, on the other hand, is used to this thing. Back in college, I remember we would simply route for ADMU in the finals as they were our closest neighbors and most of my friends were from ADMU. If UP students would see students from other schools, most likely, they'd be from ADMU as all the other UAAP schools were far away.


Maybe it's just that UP hasn't seen many UAAP finals but just a few days before game one, the UP student council made a call for students to wear black to protest violence, impunity and misogyny. Apparently, the ADMU Sanggu made the same call to their students.

I think this is a bad idea. Let's let basketball be basketball and let politics be politics. I feel very uncomfortable letting sports events become platforms for political statements and agendas. I'm not taking away from those causes but there is a time and a place. And as much as we'd want to fight against violence, a basketball game is not the place to do such a thing.

The fighting maroons have worked so hard this season to get to where they are now. And so have the blue eagles! This finals is their time to shine! UP, especially who had to fight an uphill battle to get where they are. Let them be the stars of the finals. Let's reserve our protests for another day.

UP students and alumni, wear maroon and wear it proud. ADMU students and alumni, wear blue and wear it as proud as you'd always been. To both schools, whatever the results of the finals, let's maintain our close friendship and fight together to build a better Philippines for tomorrow.

I will personally be cheering on the fighting maroons even when most of my friends are from the Ateneo. Win or lose, the maroons will leave this season achieving something great. I can't for Game 3.

Upsilon and their leaked thread

Last week, news broke out over leaked conversations between members of one of the fraternities of my alma mater which we just call Upsilon. Now, I haven't read much of the threads but I did see enough to make me vomit a bit and taste the vomit then swallow and vomit a bit again. Sorry for the imagery but it was really that bad.

The part where these Upsolinians were in the wrong is undisputed. People called them out for being misogynistic. On that point, I totally agree with the reactions online. But something about the whole affair went unsettled with me.

I opened my FB messenger and did some reflection. Have I ever insulted anyone or any group of people on any of my FB threads? Now, I don't think I have as I generally just use messenger to follow group conversations. But I do see some insensitive things being said here and there. Nothing close to the misogyny displayed by some Upsilonians, but enough to give myself pause.

Everyone is talking about how abhorent the Upsilonians behaved yet really all we have are words being said in private. This isn't a case of Upsilonians going out and actually mistreating women on campus. I'm not one to make generalizations but at the very least, the Upsilonians I do know are very good people who respect women and homosexuals. At most, what we have is a relatively small group of Upsilonians who are guilty of viewing women as objects and a large group of Upsilonians who are simply trying to either cover up the situation or deny it.

What I find more disturbing is that no one I've seen online seems concerned about the Upsilonian's rights. The fact that their private conversation was hacked and posted online is a clear cut violation of their right to privacy and their right of expression. They may not be expressing good ideas but I stand by the idea that we should protect their rights to express whatever wrong ideas they have. It's actually right in our very own constitution - right there in the bill of rights.

Why I find this so disturbing is that the silence is deafening and it seems to me no one is willing to speak out in defense of Upsilon because of the fear of being branded as a misogynist or a homophobe. Let's get one thing clear - we as a people should always fight for everyone's rights (the real ones, not the made up ones - this gives me an idea for another post) regardless if they're in the right or in the wrong. Remember, if the law cannot protect the worst of us, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I hate that it's come to this where it's okay to break the law so long as something good will come out of it. Two wrongs DO NOT make a right and if we start thinking that way, I fear for you and whoever disagrees with you.