10 Rules of Coffee and Abortion

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that coffee and abortion discussions should be a common occurrence for friends and family to discuss certain topics without the help of the internet. As such, I've decided to make a simple guide on how to make coffee and abortion discussions the most productive. Here are my 10 rules for Coffee and Abortion.

Rule No. 1    The goal is NOT to convince people.

The goal of Coffee and Abortion is to open our worldview and see certain issues from all possible perspectives. If you're born Christian and have been your whole life, talking to someone of a different faith may give you a more holistic worldview.

Rule No. 2    Listen with your eyes, ears and face

Coffee and Abortion discussions are a response to online discussions where lack the face to face interaction. Listen to the other person's words and see with your eyes their facial expressions. These facial ques are lost in the comment threads. A certain issue may affect someone in your group on a highly personal level so be sensitive to those things.

Rule No. 3    Don't raise your voice

If you've said something once, saying again in a higher volume won't make much of a difference. You may, however, repeat a point to stress it more.

Rule No. 4    Prepare palette cleansers

If you're talking about abortion for 2 hours, you might want to talk about other things during a break. Games can help with this as well.

Rule No. 5    Give other people their time to talk and respect it

If the goal of Coffee and Abortion is to have a different perspective, you actually get less out of the experience if you're monologue the whole time. If you wish to monologue, I suggest you become a priest or a pastor. Those guys can talk for days!

Rule No. 6    Criticize the idea, NOT the person

Ad hominem attacks are sometimes easy to dole out when you've run out of your own arguments. Coffee and Abortion doesn't conclude with a "And the winner of this debate is ..." Focus on the arguments presented and pick them apart. Dissect them for all their worth.

Rule No. 7    Coffee NOT Alcohol

Though coffee is not an essential part of the discussion, the discussion may go off on several off tangent points if alcohol is involved. Alcohol has the effect of having the drinker break all the other rules in this list so I'd advice against it. If alcohol is involved, however, set a maximum number of drinks per person.

Rule No. 8    Set a time to end the discussion and stick to it

This rule helps keep the first rule that people tend to forget. If you have a boundless discussion, you might end up with people trying to convince other people how wrong they are and again, that is not the goal of this discussion.

Rule No. 9    Avoid off tangent topics

If the issue being discussed is abortion, talking about women's rights may lead to talking about divorce. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. If you wish to talk about divorce, schedule it during your next Coffee and Abortion discussion

Rule No. 10   End with a smile since you've just learned something new

Congrats! You've just broadened your worldview and may have broadened someone else's. The goal has been achieved and while there are no winners, you gained something. Smile, laugh, thank everyone for their contribution and probably schedule the next one.

I hope more and more people will try out some Coffee and Abortion discussions. I believe this is sorely lacking in our society now and hopefully, it'll take off.